
I know he meant what he said as a compliment. I could see it on his face. To him it was considered a compliment of the highest form. And that is what bothers me. Not that he said it. Not even that he thought it. But that he believed it was the best way to compliment my daughter. He watched my Marie in all of her fabulous, fantastic brilliance and witnessed her strengths and honored them by calling them "male". Although I know he meant no harm, my immediate response to his statement was sadness. We continue to categorize behaviors into gender appropriate roles and stunt the growth of our beautifully diverse children.
I hope my daughter does a better job than I did maneuvering through this issue in her life. I hope she never believes that her strength, athleticism, independence or toughness takes away from her femininity but instead adds a great deal to it. I hope that she never questions her power as a woman because she has the equal strength of men. And I pray that every sensitive, compassionate, kind young boy out there never allows those traits to be taken away from him because he is convinced they are not masculine. I hope those boys never question their power as a man because they have the equal strength of women. In fact, I believe my brother will undoubtedly show considerable sensitivity and compassion when he realizes what he really said. And when he does, I will refrain from calling him "all girl" to honor those strengths!