Weighing in on the gay marriage debate

hands_holding_red_heart_205202It's interesting to me how many people have become vocal about the sanctity of marriage in the recent legislative process.  I have seen rants about the institution of marriage being something worth protecting and the sacrament of marriage being the holiest thing we experience on this side of heaven.  I've heard people shouting scripture at each other to defend their position as God's position.  I'm not writing about whether I agree or disagree with either side of this debate.  I'm writing because I am baffled by the reality that this same passion doesn't exist when marriage is challenged by other entities.  Why is gay marriage seen as the primary threat to the institution of traditional marriage?  I don't get it!  Before we try to take the speck out of our brother's eye let's look at the log in our own shall we? 
More than one half of marriages end in divorce. Clearly we aren't as committed to it's sanctity as we are claiming to be. The divorce rate is above 50%.  Is this statistic indicative of something holy?  The statistic doesn't improve by the way when it specifically evaluates "people of faith".  In some studies it's actually higher.  And divorce isn't the only measuring stick of our marriages.  There are lots of intact marriages that are NOT honoring to God.  They can be abrasive, manipulative, mediocre, inpatient, dead, unkind, insensitive and painful.  Where is the screaming and the ranting when that happens?  Where are the picket lines telling me something better is worth fighting for?  Why is a second spouse more common than a second wind?  Where is the fire for sanctified marriage when so many of us are living separate emotional lives?  Where is the accountability we need to stop lying to our spouse about the money we spent or the unhappiness we feel?  Where is the guidance one needs when he is more interested in porn than he is his wife?  Why is it okay for these things to deteriorate marriage on a catastrophic scale but we don't stand up and say much of anything?  Isn't there a list of scriptures we should be shouting at ourselves?  You know, the ones about pride, lust, anger, selfishness, money, honor, submission, sin. 
Oh that word, 'sin'.  When same sex couples express a desire to marry that is the word we use.  If we were honest about our own moral compass we would see that we have our own sin to deal with.  Perhaps if we were to stop pointing our fingers and shooting our words at others we would realize that our marriages are the reason why traditional marriage is deteriorating.  Our sin is what is breaking down the covenant relationships we claim to value so much.  And we fight that sin in our culture with an apathy that is sure to do absolutely nothing!  Instead we rage about the sin that exists in the lives of others.  A diversion that makes us feel and appear more holy but leaves us drowning in the sin we could actually do something about.  I believe what the gay community really wants is rights.  I can't imagine that they want marriage.  We haven't given them a lot of reasons to believe it's worth having.  But I'm working on removing the log from my own eye that adds to this problem.  I invite you to join me. 

6 thoughts on “Weighing in on the gay marriage debate

  1. Lindsey

    Very well said. When I read the Bible the one resounding thing that always repeats to me is that God is love. He isn't just about loving people or giving love. He IS love. Therefore in order to have so called Christian values, they have to be based first in love. I think by pointing fingers, blaming others, calling people names, and denying them humanity, we aren't acting out of love or acting the way God wants us to act.

  2. Jimmy ritchie

    What a positive way to look at the sanctify of marriage.  To be honest, I have never diven in this deep or given this much thought on gay marriage.  Do I care?  Not sure I do.  Is it right, is it wrong?  We could argue for months and never agree.  Being a man of faith, I assume I am supposed to be against it.  I have friends and relatives who have loved ones of the same sex.  They are good people, they care for others and most I think have deep faith in God. I loved the way you turned it around and made me realize that the same passion that most of these people have for something they are not allowed to do (in most places), that we should have the same passion for our own marriage.  Well put and you opened up a different way of thinking that will make sense to most people. Well done.  I enjoyed the reading.

  3. Mark

    The sanctity of marriage is not a function of how well Christians model God's institution of marriage but is a function of God's word – which never changes. So we are not talking about upholding an institution we have made but rather an institution God has proclaimed in scripture to be one man and one woman being united and becoming one flesh.
    See the problem with surveys is the survey taker gets to set the standard of what a Christian is. Since scripture has some harsh words about taking marriage lightly, I find it hard to believe that all respondents to the surveys are bible believing, Spirit filled Christians (in fact I would be shocked to find that even half the respondents that said they were Christian and divorced were truly Christian). That being said, that also doesn't mean that many of the respondents, being true Christians, were not divorced by spouses that turned out not to be true Christians or Christians that found themselves in abusive relationships (which would also indicate an unbelieving spouse).
    The bottom line is to be a Christian is an offense to those who are living in sin. If our divorce rate didn't spur the same sex proponents to call us hypocrites, there are hundreds of places in the bible where we all fall short and can be called hypocrites and you can bet they will find and use them. However, our righteousness is not the issue, it is the truth of scripture that is the issue.
    I agree with you to the extent that we need to be seeking and following spiritual discernment in the decisions we make in our lives, I just see no correlation between the lack of discernment in some Christians and the Gay marriage debate.  Scripturally gay marriage is wrong – period.

  4. Katie B.

    So the word "homosexuality" did my even appear in the Bible until 1958. That's not very long ago. A human decided upon a translation for an obscure Greek word and Presto! Homosexuality is now a part of the scriptures. I don't buy it. I also don't buy into deciding who is a "true Christian". Damn, I don't want that responsibility! I love Jesus, but I'm a train wreck, most Jesus lovers I know are train wrecks too. Not my place to decide their level of Christianity, not yours either Mark. Peace out dude.

  5. Mark

    There are those who would like to discredit the discerning Christian. The Christian that calls sin what it is. We can muddle ourselves in a semantical argument over the word translated 'homosexuals' or we can follow what God had to say thousands of years BEFORE the word was translated as such.


    Leviticus 18:22  'You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.


    Leviticus 20:13  'If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltiness is upon them.


    Romans 1:25-27  For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.  26  For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural,  27  and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.


    So, Katie, if you're trying to say that God never really condemned homosexuality then you are mistaken. Because it's quite clear in scripture that the acts that make a homosexual what he or she is are an abomination to God.


    That being established, is anyone who comes to Christ perfect? No, they are not. They are sinners like everyone else. However there is no true salvation unless there is first true repentance.


    Acts 11:18  And when they heard this, they quieted down, and glorified God, saying, "Well then, God has granted to the Gentiles also the repentance that leads to life."


    Repentance is turning away from your sin and turning toward God and His righteousness. Most people's life is not perfect; In fact, most people's lives could be classified as a "train wreck". But please don't ball a person's struggle in this world with living in sin without repentance. Because to put it frankly, without repentance there is no salvation. So I'm not deciding anyone's "level of Christianity" – the bible does this clearly. I'm just pointing you to the truth of God's word. If you're born again, then God says you are a new creation, he says that the old has died and the new has come.


    2 Corinthians 5:17  Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.


    So if one does not see this radical change in their lives, then they should be seriously questioning if they are 'in Christ'.


    "Peace out." What exactly does that mean? Don't bring the sinfulness of homosexuality into the light of scrutiny? Sorry about that, but God tells me not only to avoid sin, but to EXPOSE sin:

    Ephesians 5:11  And do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them


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