It's interesting to me how many people have become vocal about the sanctity of marriage in the recent legislative process. I have seen rants about the institution of marriage being something worth protecting and the sacrament of marriage being the holiest thing we experience on this side of heaven. I've heard people shouting scripture at each other to defend their position as God's position. I'm not writing about whether I agree or disagree with either side of this debate. I'm writing because I am baffled by the reality that this same passion doesn't exist when marriage is challenged by other entities. Why is gay marriage seen as the primary threat to the institution of traditional marriage? I don't get it! Before we try to take the speck out of our brother's eye let's look at the log in our own shall we?
More than one half of marriages end in divorce. Clearly we aren't as committed to it's sanctity as we are claiming to be. The divorce rate is above 50%. Is this statistic indicative of something holy? The statistic doesn't improve by the way when it specifically evaluates "people of faith". In some studies it's actually higher. And divorce isn't the only measuring stick of our marriages. There are lots of intact marriages that are NOT honoring to God. They can be abrasive, manipulative, mediocre, inpatient, dead, unkind, insensitive and painful. Where is the screaming and the ranting when that happens? Where are the picket lines telling me something better is worth fighting for? Why is a second spouse more common than a second wind? Where is the fire for sanctified marriage when so many of us are living separate emotional lives? Where is the accountability we need to stop lying to our spouse about the money we spent or the unhappiness we feel? Where is the guidance one needs when he is more interested in porn than he is his wife? Why is it okay for these things to deteriorate marriage on a catastrophic scale but we don't stand up and say much of anything? Isn't there a list of scriptures we should be shouting at ourselves? You know, the ones about pride, lust, anger, selfishness, money, honor, submission, sin.
Oh that word, 'sin'. When same sex couples express a desire to marry that is the word we use. If we were honest about our own moral compass we would see that we have our own sin to deal with. Perhaps if we were to stop pointing our fingers and shooting our words at others we would realize that our marriages are the reason why traditional marriage is deteriorating. Our sin is what is breaking down the covenant relationships we claim to value so much. And we fight that sin in our culture with an apathy that is sure to do absolutely nothing! Instead we rage about the sin that exists in the lives of others. A diversion that makes us feel and appear more holy but leaves us drowning in the sin we could actually do something about. I believe what the gay community really wants is rights. I can't imagine that they want marriage. We haven't given them a lot of reasons to believe it's worth having. But I'm working on removing the log from my own eye that adds to this problem. I invite you to join me.